Sexual Abuse by Clergy-A Healing Response?
by Ellie Harold

When I first contacted the Archdiocese of Atlanta to tell them I'd been abused as a child by a Catholic priest, I was referred to their website. There Archbishop John Donoghue's "Policy of the Archdiocese on Priest Pedophilia" assured me "…the archdiocese does everything in its power to accomplish healing for all involved."

How does the Archdiocese go about this? For this survivor it has meant a "cease and desist" notice I recently received from Attorney David Brown, of Smith, Gambrell & Russell, on behalf of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta.

Some background: On February 25 an e-mail arrived from the Alumni Committee inviting me to participate in the celebration of the 50th anniversary of St. Joseph Catholic School in Marietta. "We are looking for memorabilia of decades gone by…," the note read. Now, this school is where I and at least eleven others were molested, so I saw this as an opportunity for healing. I replied, proposing an alumni effort to create a forum for dialogue. I wrote: "…it would be quite powerful for both speakers and listeners alike if we could share this part of St. Joe's history with the larger alumni group. This would offer your group the opportunity not only to learn about this crisis in the church in a personal way, but also how you can make a positive healing response to it."

On March 5 school principal Charles Kraft replied: "…I recall reading with considerable sadness the recent newspaper reports in which you describe your encounters with Father Biggers when you were attending St. Joseph School in 1962. I have also reviewed the information that you have posted on your website concerning this terrible experience. As traumatic as I am sure this situation has been for you, I remain hopeful that with proper prayer and reflection you could find it in your heart to assist this school in its current and much needed capital campaign…."

While I believed Mr. Kraft was genuinely moved, I found his request for money audacious, and wrote him a letter telling him so. Then, a week later on March 11, comes the letter from Attorney Brown to my lawyer stating, "…Any future communications that Reverend Harold wishes to direct to any person or organization associated with the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta will be directed solely and exclusively to me as their attorney and not to my clients."

I've been pondering the significance of Mr. Brown's order and wondering how I could possibly fulfill its demands. My first thought was to wonder what would happen if I were to return to the church to receive its sacraments. Since I am no longer supposed to communicate with any person associated with the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta, would Mr. Brown be the one to hear my Confession if I felt so inclined? Or serve me the Eucharist? I don't even know if Mr. Brown is a Catholic-I hope he is qualified to do these things.

What if someone I know is getting married in a church in Atlanta? Would I have to stand across the street and wave to the happy couple? But that might be construed as communication. I suppose I'd have to send my best wishes (and the wedding gift) to Mr. Brown instead. And, what if I wanted to attend the funeral of a friend who belongs to Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta? Nix on that too? I guess I'd have the solace of communicating directly with Mr. Brown. I hope he knows something about grief counseling!

This morning I had the opportunity to see how it might go when I attended, as I'd been invited, the 50th Anniversary Alumni Mass & Breakfast. I went with two other alumnae who'd also been molested. While there was much we could have said, we didn't. (Although one of our group, noticing a framed picture of our abuser hanging on the wall of the narthex, burst into tears and asked that it be taken down.) Mr. Kraft, however, evidently didn't take kindly to our presence. As we were leaving, we stopped to introduce ourselves to him. In a flash he was on his cell phone and minutes later three squad cars from the Marietta Police Department arrived. After a cordial conversation with the bemused officers, we continued on our way.

I am left with these questions: Why do I get the feeling that Mr. Brown would like to wave his legal authority like a magic wand and have me disappear? Why is the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta so threatened by abuse survivors? What are they trying to avoid?

Could it be that I, and the others who were victimized alongside me forty years ago, serve as a painful reminder that not only did the church fail to meet our needs back then, but that they continue to dismiss us now, wishing we would simply shut up and go away? Despite the rhetoric, the fact is no one from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta has reached out in any meaningful way to determine what we, the victims of clergy sexual abuse, really need for our healing. Instead, they've asked us for money, sicced their lawyers on us, and, now, the police! If this is a healing response, I'd hate to know what they'd do if they were mad at us.

I am sorry to disappoint Mr. Brown and his clients. I'm not going anywhere and I won't be tossing out my word processor anytime soon. Last time I checked, it wasn't a crime (or a sin) to write a letter. Mr. Brown might want to think twice about the kind of orders he issues on behalf of his clients at the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Atlanta. If they're as ludicrous as the one he gave me, they'll be more likely laughed at than followed.

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Rev. Ellie Harold is an ordained minister and author of Where Two Or More Are Gathered: A New Church for the 21st Century. She lives in Norcross.